Borderline Personality Disorder

The first day i met Mercy, i knew she was a blessing in my life. Cheerful, loving, fun with a star like smile and beautiful ocean eyes. She was calm and everything i said made her happy. Though things changed abruptly when she got into an argument with her sister. I was shocked at how she couldn't handle her emotions. She cried endlessly and was shaking all through. After talking to her, everything changed and she was back to being the noisy girl i had met first. That is when i knew Mercy had a problem.

        

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. Includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

Having a relationship with someone who has feelings that don't have a basis in your own reality can be very difficult. You may feel as if you are speaking past your loved one. Mercy would tend to be quiet when she talks to someone with great importance in her life because she fears that her words would go beyond.

An essential part of loving someone with borderline personality disorder is realizing that you cannot fix them. You can have a close, loving, meaningful relationship and provide invaluable support but you cannot heal their illness. Watching Mercy struggle with deep inner turmoil, and experiencing such profound rawness of emotion breaks my heart. As much as i would really like to help Mercy, all i could do is show her love and be by her side everytime she breaks down.

At times Mercy would go deep in her feelings mostly when she is alone. With BPD, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have a long and lasting friendship and relationship.

Most common triggers are relationship triggers and interpersonal distress. Many people with BPD experience intense fear and anger, impulsive behavior, self-harm, and even suicidality in the wake of relationship events that make them feel either rejected, criticised or abandoned. When i found out that Mercy would hurt herself sometimes i did not judge her or lecture her on what is right or wrong. People tend to use different ways to deal with stress or depression and worst thing you can do is judging their own. Don't try convincing them that they are wrong, in fact, doing so will likely make feel attacked and they will likely respond by pushing you away.

         

There are many people in the world who have Mercy's condition and all of them need help. Medication is provided but mostly show them they are loved because they will know they are worth of living. Praying everyday that Mercy overcomes everything and comes out as the strong girl i know she is.

Maintaining Sanity in Quarantine

For the past two months the world has been battling a heavy pandemic of the Covid-19. Governments have taken measures to quarantine those exposed to the virus. In addition, those negative are advised to stay home and quarantine themselves. However, quarantine has a serious effect on mental health.

Before shaming others for going to the park or labelling staying indoors as a 'minor inconvenience' as has happened on twitter, know that medical quarantine and isolation in general, is associated with serious mental health effects.

Whether in quarantine or not, anxieties are only worsened by confusion and social judgement as people try to figure out the appropriate response. This may be, a sense of community and connection with others and purpose of effectiveness. Trying to create all this while in quarantine, whether by skyping friends, assigning yourself structured work or exercised indoors or making dance videos as seen in most Kenyans who have actually been making use of Tiktok. All this can help keep the mind active.

However, things are different for those in restricted quarantine. Kenyans who are in government designated mandatory quarantine sites have described how they are coping with life in isolation.

Some, who are housed in government-owned schools and colleges, have told local broadcasters that the crowding and sharing of washrooms and bathrooms is exposing them to the risk of contracting Coronavirus.

The government placed all people who had arrived in the country during the last few days before international flights were stopped in mandatory quarantine at their cost.

More measures should be taken to make sure those in quarantine stay protected and healthy. One may actually go into quarantine healthy but due to poor and inadequate resources, they might come out testing positive. This may be the main reason why the Covid-19 cases keep on increasing day by day. We stay positive everyday praying that this global pandemic will come to an end!

Above all, let us obey and stay home but most importantly, STAY SANE!